Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
