She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
