I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
