You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
