im having a threesome with these popsicles
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize