I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
