It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
