Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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