Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
