Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize