Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize