just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Life is so much better after having sex.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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