Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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