I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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