Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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