Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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