I bet he comes in French.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize