That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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