what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
