And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
