maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
