ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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