so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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