garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
