So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
