Having a random hookup so left but love u
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
