letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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