I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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