I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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