I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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