"it" just moved
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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