READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
