That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
