how can u be prego again
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So here I am, sexting at work.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
