I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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