You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
