I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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