We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Randomize
