She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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