I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
and you fell through a lawn chair
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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