Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
