Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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