What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize