It's just like the Real World with babies
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
50% drunk capacity currently
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
