I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
