i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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