she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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