I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
