We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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