trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
