You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
