FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
