He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
