i can't believe i had my finger in that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
