i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
