just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
