Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
