he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
