you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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