Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
