There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
