just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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