There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize