so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
