How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
