trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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