Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
it was like eating out sand paper
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
