grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
