i was born a porn star she said
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
