yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
