i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
