This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
