Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
