so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
