ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The power of my boobs compel you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
